Memories, points of view on adoption of children
Casey Curlin
Issue date: 10/7/08 Section: Arts & Entertainment
"We feel the birth mother made a very wise decision for the children. She realized she didn't have the means to take care of them," Lofaro said.
The Agape House Pregnancy Care Center in Martin serves and counsels women of all ages to help them make the best decision for their unplanned pregnancy, including adoption.
"It's the most loving, selfless choice that a pregnant girl can make and I admire them so much for making that choice," said Linda DeBoard, chief executive officer of Agape House.
Although Agape House does not serve as an adoption agency, it does refer women interested in putting their child up for adoption to adoption agencies. DeBoard said hopeful couples often call to inquire about adopting from an Agape client and they are also referred to adoption agencies.
"Adoption is a lot different today than it was years ago. She can choose the parents and there are different levels of open adoption," DeBoard said.
One woman, who preferred to remain anonymous because of the sensitive nature of her situation, is currently in the process of placing her unborn child in a semi-open level of adoption through the Bethany Christian Services adoption agency, where she will receive pictures, letters and updates on her child throughout its life. She will never be in contact with it unless the child chooses to contact her when it is 18.
"With an open adoption, the birth mother is always in the child's life. A woman from Bethany Christian Services was telling me they have some birth mothers who are very into the open adoption and she knows one family where the birth mother babysits for them. That would just be too awkward for me," the woman said.
She has begun the process of selecting the child's future parents by studying profiles given to her by the agency.
"I get to go through them and see which one I feel most comfortable with, then I can meet them and if I don't feel comfortable with them after that I can keep choosing," she said.
The woman said she is looking for "good, whole-hearted people who are willing and want to take care of a child and will make that a priority."
All of the potential parents have already undergone intense background checks and screening to qualify for the adoption.
The birth mother initially considered keeping the child, but decided the best choice for herself and the baby was adoption.
"At this point in my life I figured it would be best for this child to have parents who can actually take care of it, love it and, as bad as this sounds, want it," she said.
"The way I feel, a lot of adopted children wonder why their mother gave them up. If they could have seen how their mother was and what their mother was going through at the time they made that decision, they may actually be grateful.
"I've seen a lot of children who probably should have been with someone else besides their mother. That's bad to say, but not everyone is a perfect mother."
The Agape House Pregnancy Care Center in Martin serves and counsels women of all ages to help them make the best decision for their unplanned pregnancy, including adoption.
"It's the most loving, selfless choice that a pregnant girl can make and I admire them so much for making that choice," said Linda DeBoard, chief executive officer of Agape House.
Although Agape House does not serve as an adoption agency, it does refer women interested in putting their child up for adoption to adoption agencies. DeBoard said hopeful couples often call to inquire about adopting from an Agape client and they are also referred to adoption agencies.
"Adoption is a lot different today than it was years ago. She can choose the parents and there are different levels of open adoption," DeBoard said.
One woman, who preferred to remain anonymous because of the sensitive nature of her situation, is currently in the process of placing her unborn child in a semi-open level of adoption through the Bethany Christian Services adoption agency, where she will receive pictures, letters and updates on her child throughout its life. She will never be in contact with it unless the child chooses to contact her when it is 18.
"With an open adoption, the birth mother is always in the child's life. A woman from Bethany Christian Services was telling me they have some birth mothers who are very into the open adoption and she knows one family where the birth mother babysits for them. That would just be too awkward for me," the woman said.
She has begun the process of selecting the child's future parents by studying profiles given to her by the agency.
"I get to go through them and see which one I feel most comfortable with, then I can meet them and if I don't feel comfortable with them after that I can keep choosing," she said.
The woman said she is looking for "good, whole-hearted people who are willing and want to take care of a child and will make that a priority."
All of the potential parents have already undergone intense background checks and screening to qualify for the adoption.
The birth mother initially considered keeping the child, but decided the best choice for herself and the baby was adoption.
"At this point in my life I figured it would be best for this child to have parents who can actually take care of it, love it and, as bad as this sounds, want it," she said.
"The way I feel, a lot of adopted children wonder why their mother gave them up. If they could have seen how their mother was and what their mother was going through at the time they made that decision, they may actually be grateful.
"I've seen a lot of children who probably should have been with someone else besides their mother. That's bad to say, but not everyone is a perfect mother."
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