Prime plans for penny-pinched presents
Coleen Davis
Issue date: 12/9/09 Section: Viewpoints
Are you so broke that you're unable to find two cents to rub together? Are you wondering why on earth people who are lucky enough to have two cents would waste their time rubbing them together? Do you have people in your life who are expecting Christmas presents from you? If the answer is no, then don't waste your time reading this. If the answer is yes, then waste your time reading this.
We'll assume that if you're still reading, then you answered yes to the above questions. You need Christmas presents. Your wallet is like a dark, empty black hole. You've basically got four options: 1. Search your dwelling for junk that you never needed in the first place to pass off on someone else. 2. Make something. 3. Win the lottery. 4. Break into the house of one of the people who answered no to the questions above and rob them blind.
Option one is probably the simplest course of action, unless you're one of those people who is very organized and un-magpie-like. But of course, those sorts of people would have probably been in the group who answered no those questions up there. We'll pretend that they aren't reading this. If you're going to fully commit to option one, then you have to find the most junk filled place in your residence and thoroughly shift through the wreckage. It's probably about time to that anyway.
Now, where the best place for you to do this will vary. You could be a shove-everything-under-the-bed type of person, or you could be a never-opens-the-closet-for-fear-of-being-buried-under-an-avalanche type of person. You could have a "junk drawer," or several, if you're lucky enough. You could live life in a perpetual state of trash-filled clutter. Any one of these scenarios is ideal. Just heft through the piles of yard sale merchandise until you find something new (looking) enough to give away. If you're really lucky, you could even find last year's discarded Christmas presents, eager and waiting to be re-gifted. A word of caution: if you do find something perfect for the re-gift treatment, make sure you're absolutely certain who gave it to you. Let's avoid catastrophe at all costs, shall we?
We'll assume that if you're still reading, then you answered yes to the above questions. You need Christmas presents. Your wallet is like a dark, empty black hole. You've basically got four options: 1. Search your dwelling for junk that you never needed in the first place to pass off on someone else. 2. Make something. 3. Win the lottery. 4. Break into the house of one of the people who answered no to the questions above and rob them blind.
Option one is probably the simplest course of action, unless you're one of those people who is very organized and un-magpie-like. But of course, those sorts of people would have probably been in the group who answered no those questions up there. We'll pretend that they aren't reading this. If you're going to fully commit to option one, then you have to find the most junk filled place in your residence and thoroughly shift through the wreckage. It's probably about time to that anyway.
Now, where the best place for you to do this will vary. You could be a shove-everything-under-the-bed type of person, or you could be a never-opens-the-closet-for-fear-of-being-buried-under-an-avalanche type of person. You could have a "junk drawer," or several, if you're lucky enough. You could live life in a perpetual state of trash-filled clutter. Any one of these scenarios is ideal. Just heft through the piles of yard sale merchandise until you find something new (looking) enough to give away. If you're really lucky, you could even find last year's discarded Christmas presents, eager and waiting to be re-gifted. A word of caution: if you do find something perfect for the re-gift treatment, make sure you're absolutely certain who gave it to you. Let's avoid catastrophe at all costs, shall we?
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