Column: Surviving St. Patty's holiday
Joshua Lemons
Issue date: 3/10/10 Section: Campus News
Pace yourself.
That is rule No. 1.
St. Patrick's Day is one week from today. Having been a bartender for the better part of this millennium, I spoke with some of my fellow mixologists to devise a top five list for surviving this most imbibing holiday.
Kara Kidwell is a bartender at Cadillac's in Martin. Many of you probably know her. She lends her thoughts on ways to have fun without passing out by 9 p.m.
"Have one drink per hour," Kidwell said.
However, this is not feasible for many, yours truly included. So Kidwell revised her statement. It is rule No. 2.
"For every drink, drink one, drink water, drink one, drink water," Kidwell said.
This looks to be a lot more manageable approach for many of you than one drink per hour. For rule No. 3, we again turn to our favorite Cadillac's mixologist.
"If you start drinking one thing, stick with it," Kidwell said. "Don't mix in a bunch of shots with your beer, or you'll be worshiping the porcelain goddess in the morning."
This I have seen happen during many a St. Patrick's Day celebration. After all, what's a celebration without toasts? And what is a toast without shots?
But if you want to survive the celebration and be functional the next day, try to limit the shots to a minimum. And again, if you are drinking vodka and cranberry, make your shot a wedding cake (vanilla vodka, pineapple juice and Frangelico). If bourbon is your poison, then when shot time rolls around, order an Alabama slammer (Southern Comfort and Amaretto).
Are you seeing a pattern here?
Rule No. 4 is simple. Stay away from the green everything. If the beer is green, it is definitely the cheap stuff from the tap and that equals massive headache in the morning.
Rule No. 5 is the most simple yet the most important. Never drink and drive. I know this might sound like a cliché, but it is fact.
At UTM, there is no mass transit system. There is not even a minimum transit system.
We do have one thing in abundance here: freshmen. The traditional freshman is too young to drink but still looking to have a fun evening. Maybe buy them a pizza.
Freshmen will do almost anything for free pizza. So commandeer a freshman and have one chauffeur you for the night.
If you want to go all out, sláinte (pronounced slan-she) is Gaelic for good health, also referred to as … cheers!
That is rule No. 1.
St. Patrick's Day is one week from today. Having been a bartender for the better part of this millennium, I spoke with some of my fellow mixologists to devise a top five list for surviving this most imbibing holiday.
Kara Kidwell is a bartender at Cadillac's in Martin. Many of you probably know her. She lends her thoughts on ways to have fun without passing out by 9 p.m.
"Have one drink per hour," Kidwell said.
However, this is not feasible for many, yours truly included. So Kidwell revised her statement. It is rule No. 2.
"For every drink, drink one, drink water, drink one, drink water," Kidwell said.
This looks to be a lot more manageable approach for many of you than one drink per hour. For rule No. 3, we again turn to our favorite Cadillac's mixologist.
"If you start drinking one thing, stick with it," Kidwell said. "Don't mix in a bunch of shots with your beer, or you'll be worshiping the porcelain goddess in the morning."
This I have seen happen during many a St. Patrick's Day celebration. After all, what's a celebration without toasts? And what is a toast without shots?
But if you want to survive the celebration and be functional the next day, try to limit the shots to a minimum. And again, if you are drinking vodka and cranberry, make your shot a wedding cake (vanilla vodka, pineapple juice and Frangelico). If bourbon is your poison, then when shot time rolls around, order an Alabama slammer (Southern Comfort and Amaretto).
Are you seeing a pattern here?
Rule No. 4 is simple. Stay away from the green everything. If the beer is green, it is definitely the cheap stuff from the tap and that equals massive headache in the morning.
Rule No. 5 is the most simple yet the most important. Never drink and drive. I know this might sound like a cliché, but it is fact.
At UTM, there is no mass transit system. There is not even a minimum transit system.
We do have one thing in abundance here: freshmen. The traditional freshman is too young to drink but still looking to have a fun evening. Maybe buy them a pizza.
Freshmen will do almost anything for free pizza. So commandeer a freshman and have one chauffeur you for the night.
If you want to go all out, sláinte (pronounced slan-she) is Gaelic for good health, also referred to as … cheers!
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